Those Violet Eyes
by kaminx
Summary: Misaki is struggling... Usagi wants to be with him...but Misaki's troubles are too great... can Usagi break this heart breaking barrier?
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Readers: This was the first yaoi I watched! NO REGRETS!**

**XDXDDXDXDDXDXDX**

**Kaminx**

* * *

"Misaki…" Usagi whispered.

"I mean it, any weird moves and you can just DIE!" Misaki hissed, rolling away from him.

"Misaki…" he whispered in his rough voice again.

"No."

Usagi snuggled up behind him, "Misaki…?"

Misaki's heart started to race as Usagi brushed his hand under the front of his shirt.

Misaki froze, "This is considered- a weird move," he growled.

Usagi-san's mouth twitched his small grin.

"Usagi?" Misaki questioned.

"Hmm?" Usagi replied.

"Is it my fault my parents are dead?" he timidly asked.

"No, it was nobody's fault, Misaki, life happens, " he whispered.

Misaki stayed turned away , a tear rolled from his eye, they always would never blame it in him…

_Why can't anyone just tell me the truth? It is my fault!_

Misaki balled up the sheet corner in his fist, he hoped Usagi couldn't see him crying.

But Misaki knew how sharp Usagi was so he sat up, "I have to go to the washroom." He left Usagi sitting up in the bed, staring at him with confusion and suspicion in his eyes.

Misaki locked the door in the bathroom and turned on the tap, he left it running while he cried. The anniversary of his parent's death was coming up and with each year he could always feel the guilt inside him become more overpowering.

Misaki dropped to the floor, shaking with sobs, _ It had to have been my fault! If I hadn't asked them to hurry…_

He finally ran out of tears and turned the water off. He sat there, unsure of what to do…

He got up and unlocked the door, he pulled it open and started back to the room, he was glad it was dark so Usagi couldn't see his face.

He crawled back into bed, Usagi snuggled up closer to him, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, sorry," he yawned, acting.

"I love you…" he whispered before moving over.

_You shouldn't love me…you could end up dying if you do…_

Misaki threw the blanket over his face, it helped muffle his crying.

* * *

Misaki could feel it, a presence really close to him, he was afraid to open his eyes.

"Misaki…" Usagi whispered.

Misaki ignored the voice and pretended to stay asleep, why the hell was he up before him?

"Misaki…" he repeated.

Misaki didn't want to wake up just yet.

Suddenly he felt it, those soft lips touching his, his eyes snapped open to see Usagi kissing him.

He jolted to the right, falling off the bed.

"Misaki!" Usagi worriedly exclaimed.

Usagi came to see Misaki, in a mess of sheets, one leg on the bed, and flat backed on the floor.

Usagi sighed and walked over to Misaki, picked him up and untangled him.

Misaki was too tired to protest, he didn't sleep at all last night.

"Honestly," Usagi mumbled.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Misaki roared.

"Why did you go insane when I kissed you?" he asked.

"Uh? Uh-um," Misaki stuttered.

Usagi set him down on the bed, and felt his forehead, " Are you feeling okay?"

"Hmm, oh, yes," Misaki mumbled.

Usagi sighed and sat next to him, "Why are you like this? Is something wrong?"

"No," Misaki lied, "I just couldn't sleep."

Usagi cushioned Misaki in a hug, "Probably because you weren't snuggled up with me."

"Let go! No! You wish , Usagi-san!" Misaki struggled.

* * *

_**XDXDXDXXDX**_

_**OK THAT'S BETTER!**_

_**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! SO PLEASE I BEG YOU TO REVIEW!**_

_**XDXDXXD**_

_**KAMINX!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry ! I had sooo much stuff to do! GOMEN! T.T**

* * *

Misaki stared at Usagi across the table, trying to eat and be cheerful but he was so tired he dozed off, his head drooping slowly to his plate of food.

"Misaki?" Usagi raised an eyebrow.

"Mmm?" Misaki looked up, not moving his head that was centimeters from his food.

"Are you still thinking about your parents?" he asked gently.

_Dammit! Why can he always read my mind?_

"Mmm...no...?" he sadly tried to convince.

"Hmm," Usagi stared.

Usagi got up to go get what Misaki thought was a cup of coffee, but Misaki was soon on the couch within Usagi's gentle hold.

"Usagi!" Misaki protested.

Usagi brush his face against Misaki's neck before licking slowly down from his ear to his collar bone.

"U-Usagi-san!" he protested.

Usagi chuckled and kissed Misaki before slipping his hand down the front of Misaki's pants.

"Usagi-"

Usagi kissed Misaki roughly while toying with his member.

"N-no Usagi!"

"Heh, but you are already like this," he stated, touching Misaki's hard member.

"N-no!" Misaki protested, pushing Usagi away, and falling off the chair.

"Damn…" he muttered, he couldn't stand properly like this!

"Here…let me help you..." Usagi-san whispered.

* * *

"Usagi-san! N-no! Don't touch there!" Misaki protested.

"Heh, is here better?" he whispered.

"Hgnh, Usagi-No!" Misaki tried to speak.

Usagi kissed Misaki passionately, teasing his tongue with his own.

"Mmmph, hmmm,mmmm," Misaki mumbled in pleasure.

"Aaaah!" Misaki gasped, he was drenched in cum.

"You look delicious, I want to eat you," Usagi chuckled, teasing Misaki.

"Shut up-Hah, Hghnn," he moaned.

"Aah, such a beautiful voice," Usagi smiled.

"Shut up, you bastard, you, you pervert!" Misaki groaned.

"Heh, if I'm a pervert… then so are you…"

"I am not-"

Usagi shifted Misaki, "I'm going inside you now…"

"N-no!"

Usagi thrust inside of Misaki.

"Aaaah, hah, Hghnn, U-Usagi, hah," Miskai moaned.

Usagi thrust harder into Misaki, Misaki moaned with pleasure.

"Usagi…" Misaki cried, tears in his eyes.

"I'm coming…"

Misaki gripped onto the sheets, but Usagi gripped his hands and held them gently but still tightly as he came inside Misaki.

* * *

**Weeelll~~~ that should be okay… maybe…?**

**Please Review! XD**

**Kaminx~~**


	3. Chapter 3

^w^ I love reviews! They make me sooo happy to write more for you guys ^w^

TwT Gomen about no updates for two days, I had no internet access and I just got home five minutes ago and am updating ^w^

* * *

Misaki laid in the bed, he had woken up before Usagi, which was hard to believe.

_Yes! I can get away!_

Until Misaki realized why he couldn't roll away, Usagi had his arm wrapped around Misaki's waist.

_Damn you Usagi!_

Misaki laid there, staring at the edge of the bed in frustration, he was so close!

Misaki tried wiggling, but Usagi was out cold and if Misaki woke him up, he might be mad.

_Need a plan!_

Misaki stared around, desperately looking for something…

_A ribbon! _

Misaki stared at the teddy bear's ribbon, could he use that..? Misaki slid his hand under the sheets and slowly reached over and pulled the ribbon off the bear. He dragged it back and slowly and carefully rolled back towards Usagi. He placed the ribbon close to Usagi's nose, hoping to make his nose itch and him move!

Misaki slowly moved the edge of the ribbon near the end of Usagi's nose, Usagi twitched before releasing one of his arms and rubbing his nose. Misaki saw his chance and swiftly rolled out of the grasp.

He watched as Usagi flopped over and started to snore softly.

Misaki slowly slinked out of bed, and crawled silently on the floor, each carpet brushing sound made him fear what would happen if Usagi heard him.

He finally reached the hallway and sighed in relief, he stood up and went down stairs, he sat on the couch. His black and green long sleeved nightshirt seemed baggier and he briefly wondered if he lost weight. Misaki grabbed his knees and pulled them to his body, his parents death date was soon and he knew no matter how many times they said it wasn't it was his fault they were dead and they were _never _coming back.

_Maybe if I never existed then they would still be alive… seems fair… lose one shameful life save two innocent…_

Before Misaki knew it, he was shaking with tears. He buried his face into his knees. He didn't know why their death was hitting him so hard now but he had a feeling it had something to do with being a possible family disgrace if they were alive. But Misaki couldn't blame everything on Usagi, he knew that it was his own fault.

_They are gone, they have been gone for a long time! Be a man, they aren't coming back!_

Misaki sniffled and flopped over on the couch, he grabbed the folded blanket on the couch and buried himself in it. He realized it was pink in color and really fuzzy, in defeat he buried himself in it deeper.

_He makes it so difficult to be even a bit masculine! _

Misaki froze, the blanket was drenched in Usagi's scent, he pulled the blanket over his face and was drowned in the ecstasy like scent of his lover.

* * *

^w^ I know its short… gomen ^w^


	4. Chapter 4

**_0w0 hello~ I hope you enjoy this chapter~_**

* * *

_Coldness, pitch black._

'_Why can't I breathe well?' Misaki thought._

_Suddenly light shone brightly with the opening of a door above him. _

'_Why can't I move…?'_

_Then Misaki saw himself as a child leaning above him, crying._

'_I'm in a coffin!' Misaki panicked._

"_Daddy! Mommy!" the young Misaki cried._

_Misaki felt a chill run up his spine, 'Mommy? Daddy?'_

_Misaki realized he was his dead parents!_

_The coffin slammed shut and the darkness came again._

'_I can't breathe!' Misaki panicked as the air escaped his lungs._

_He started to cry in fear of dying six feet under the earth._

'_I'm sorry…'_

* * *

"Misaki!" Usagi yelled,shaking Misaki.

Misaki woke up, tears streaming down from his eyes.

Misaki was pressed against Usagi's shirtless body in a tight hug; Misaki cried his salt tears onto Usagi's shoulder.

"Misaki, shh, stop crying…" Usagi tried to calm him, "It's alright…"

But Misaki knew that it was no use to even try to stop, he couldn't shake off this haunted dream, he cried harder.

"Misaki, please calm down," Usagi fretted.

Misaki tried but he couldn't.

"Misaki…" Usagi lifted up his chin, and kissed him on the lips.

"Mmm, hmmm, hgmmm," Misaki cried.

Usagi pulled away, Misaki was still crying but only a tad less.

Usagi sighed in frustration and kissed Misaki harder, pulling him into his lap. Misaki hugged Usagi harder and Usagi ran one of his hands through Misaki's hair, ruffling it the way he always did.

"Misaki, calm down…" Usagi attempted, "Why are you crying…?"

Misaki looked up at Usagi, Usagi kissed his forehead, "Will you tell me?"

Tears were brimming from Misaki's eyes, Usagi brushed them away.

"Usagi, I'm afraid…" Misaki looked down at his hands, embarrassed to be sounding like a five year old.

"What are you afraid of…?" Usagi asked, brushing his lips from Misaki's ear to his collar bone.

"If you get too close to me, you might end up getting hurt…"Misaki started, Usagi stared at him with a perplexed look, "Like my parents…"

Usagi stared at Misaki; Misaki couldn't bear to stare at him so he looked down again.

"Misaki, why don't you understand me?" Usagi said in a low voice.

Misaki looked up to see Usagi's expression full of sadness, confusion, pain and anger.

"W-what?" Misaki stuttered.

Usagi huffed and grabbed Misaki and flung him over his shoulder, he started walking up the stairs.

"Let go! Usagi! I can walk! Hey! Are you listening? Usag-"

Usagi threw Misaki on the bed, Misaki coughed, "Why did you-"

Usagi kissed Misaki hard on the lips.

"Hnn, Hmph…" Misaki mumbled.

Misaki tried tp pull away but Usagi wouldn't budge and was now playing with his tongue.

"Hmm,Mphm..Usag-Mmmm…"

Finally Misaki broke away from Usagi with a gasp and sat coughing into his arm on the bed, the tears bubbled up.

Usagi crawled on the bed and pinned Misaki down by his hands as he towered over his body, he kissed away the tears on Misaki's face very gently.

Misaki sniffled and tried to get away, he just wanted to be alone again…

"Misaki…?" Usagi breathed into Misaki's ear in a low voice.

Misaki squeezed his eyes shut tightly, he didn't want this right now!

"Misaki…" Usagi repeated, sliding his hands under Misaki's pajama bottoms.

Misaki gritted his teeth, maybe if he didn't react he would give up!

"Misaki…" he whispered, as he started to stroke his member.

"Hnngh…" Misaki moaned.

Usagi twitched a grin.

Usagi slid lower and started to tease and finger Misaki's sensitive areas.

"Hah,Hghnn,Hnnn!" Misaki cried out.

"Misaki, why can't you see that if we are apart worse things happen?" Usagi asked, irritated.

"Hah, but if, hah we are apart I don't have to hurt you!" Misaki panted.

Usagi pulled himself up and over Misaki, his face inches from his, "Being apart from you is the only thing that hurts me."

Misaki wouldn't believe it. He couldn't believe it! He wouldn't except the fact maybe Usagi was right and they _needed _to be together a lot of the days of their lives.

* * *

The phone rang, Misaki knew it was an important call Usagi was expecting, "I hope over time you will be shown this again," Usagi said before he left.

Misaki laid there, a pool of cum under him.

_What have I just done…?_

* * *

**_OuO Well~ PLEASE REVIEW~_**

**_XDXDXXDXD_**  
**_KAMINX~~~~_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi hi ^^**

**Updating~~~~~ *throws glitter***

* * *

Misaki let the heat of the water from the shower drench his body, hoping it would somehow seep deep beneath the surface and soothe his aching heart, he was saddened by making Usagi mad at him.

_I shouldn't be acting selfish, after all that is why…_

Misaki pushed the thought away, he didn't want to cry anymore. Instead he let his thoughts wander about what Usagi was doing downstairs and how the phone conversation was going. Maybe somethimg wonderful had happened, that lifted his spirits up a bit.

_I gotta not cause trouble, just make him happy and don't be selfish!_

Repeating that in his mind Misaki toweled himself dry, got dressed and walked down the stairs, hoping to see a smiling Usagi but instead he was greeted with a dark aura… Usagi had a stack of papers spread out around him and had his head in his hands.

Misaki hesitantly inched closer to him, "U-Usagi…San…?"

Usagi looked up, his eyes full of hate and the intent to kill whatever was pissing him off.

"A-are you okay? Did the phone call go well?" Misaki pressed on.

Usagi sighed, "He planned a party to celebrate another book, so I am required to go tonight…"

"Oh," Misaki replied.

"But I don't want to go…"

"You should go!"

"I don't want to leave you alone!" he snapped.

"I'll be fine, I am going to do laundry and clean up, you'll leave, I'll work and then you'll be back already," Misaki persuaded.

Usagi sighed, "Are you sure?"

Misaki nodded, "Yes."

Usagi stared down at the floor before rising to his feet and ruffling his hair, "I have to go get some stuff done; I'll be in my office, alright?"

Misaki nodded and watched him go up the stairs and close his office door quietly.

Misaki laid there, sprawled out on the sofa, wishing the time to pass by quickly.

* * *

It seemed like only a few minutes but there was Usagi all dressed up in his suit heading towards the door, "Bye!" Misaki waved at his leaving lover, who was hesitant in his steps towards the door. Usagi stared at Misaki.

"Misaki…" he whispered, but the door shut and he was gone down to catch his taxi to go out again.

Misaki sat on the couch, he knew he promised Usagi he would do chores but right now all he could think of was that the date was arriving soon, it was just in over a week. Misaki felt his heart tighten. He hugged the teddy bear beside him, he wanted just one person to blame him for the accident, just one person to tell him that he was right, he was the reason for his parents being six feet underground…

* * *

**^^ OK~ Please Review~Sorry its short~ Please review~ I know i made you wait and thats all you get for now~ Please review~ Sorry~ Please review~ Did i mention please review~? ^^"  
**

**Kaminx ~**


	6. Chapter 6

**PLEASE NOTICE:**** ^^" I'm sorry I took so long to update… I know this is gonna sound bad but I'm actually thinking of giving up writing… now before you freak out!**** No**** that ****doesn't**** mean I'm going to end everything right here! IT DOESN'T! It means I ****may**** just stop writing after finishing all the stories I have going… IT'S NOT OFFICAL! AND ****NO ****I WILL ****NOT**** BE DELETING MY ACCOUNT if I do ever give up so my stories can stay up for you guys…I'll see how this goes and I'm sorry if I'm losing my touch, after all if I wasn't I wouldn't be thinking about stopping my writing. ANYWAYS! Enjoy this chapter! *bows and runs away after throwing glitter***

* * *

Misaki clutched the teddy bear beside him, and breathed in, to not to the least bit of his surprise, to find Usagi-san's scent.

Usagi had just left but to Misaki it felt like it had been a long time, the clock ticked loudly, Misaki felt the lonely feeling creep up inside him. It was like h had breathed in smoke and it was clogged up inside of him and he couldn't get it out.

_Usagi-san, please, just once…tell me I'm the reason…_

Misaki stared down at the bear.

_Water?_

Misaki felt his cheek to find the salty liquid brimming from his eyes and trickling down.

_What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be a man! I shouldn't be crying!_

Misaki brushed the tears aside.

_I have to do chores. Get up and go do them! This is no time to cry!_

Misaki hauled himself to his feet and started to walk to the kitchen to clean up some dishes that were left behind. Misaki felt fur in his hand and realized he still had the bear gripped into his right hand.

_How childish of me…carrying a bear…_

Misaki gently set the bear on the counter and filled the sink with water and splashed some bubbles into it. Misaki sniffled and realized he was crying again, he wiped at the tears with his sleeve. He grabbed the cloth with his other hand and began scrubbing at the dirty dishes. The teddy bear on the counter stared at him; he avoided its piercing gaze.

With a huff Misaki stared straight at the teddy bear.

_Wouldn't it be so nice to be a teddy bear? To have no pain? No sorrow…?_

Misaki gulped, "Oh no…I'm turning into Usagi-san!"

He scrubbed harder on the dirty dishes and rinsed them, he set them aside to air dry while mumbling, "Oh no no no no!"

* * *

Misaki wiped his hands and grabbed the teddy bear; he bolted to where the laundry was and need to be folded.

_Just fold and fold and fold and fold._

Misaki put the pile of folded clothes into another basket and ran to Usagi's room and out them in the right drawers', making sure everything was in its place.

_See? I'm not crying, I don't feel lonely! I don't need company! Why should I feel sad?_

Misaki walked out of the room and stared out the window, he hadn't notice the rain against the glass.

_Oh, _I_ hope Usagi doesn't get soaked.._

Misaki plunked down and grabbed the next basket of clothes.

_And fold and fold and fold and fold and fold and fold and fold and fold._

He put the next stack in the basket and reached for the next one.

_I'm perfectly fine! I'm not lonely at all! It's not my fault my parents are dead…_

Misaki started to fold.

_And fold and fold and fold and fold and fold and-_

Misaki stared at the drop of water on the t-shirt, he brushed away the tears.

_And f-fold and fold a-and fold and fold and f-fold._

Misaki pushed the now folded clothes aside, he was over taken with sorrow and loneliness, he hadn't felt it this bad since the day his parent's actually _had _died.

_How can I say it's not my fault? I was the one who…_

Misaki stumbled to his feet and started down the stairs dragging the teddy bear that in his blurred vision he managed to find.

_I was the one who asked them to hurry home! If only I wasn't so selfish…!_

Misaki blinked and he was on the ground, sobbing even harder.

_I shouldn't get close to anyone…they will probably die…_

Misaki let all the bottled up tears flow, he wanted them to be gone forever, the ones he had refused to ever show anyone ever, but he knew once he started the only one that could make him stop was…

_Usagi…_

Misaki watched his tears paint the floor with splatters.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, Misaki stared up to see Usagi, drenched, water dripping from his hair and coat, his violet eyes fixed on him.

"Misaki,"he breathed.

"Usagi-san…?" Misaki mustered through his tight throat.

The phone rang but Usagi quickly unplugged it after closing the door, he rushed over to Misaki.

"Misaki," he whispered.

"U-Usagi, your soaked, "Misaki tearfully stated.

"Shh," Usagi ordered with a gentle kiss.

Misaki clutched onto Usagi and wouldn't let go.

* * *

**Ok…I think it was okay but still… I think I'm losing it… Oh well! Please Review~! ^^**

**Kaminx~!**


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